RaNdOmness

We have a heart beat! Well one that we can hear anyway. Mr. B and I got to hear it on Thursday. He said it sounded like a techno song. We are relieved that it sounds nice and strong. Next up is the bigggggg ultra sound. We get to schedule that in 2-5 weeks. I want to wait as close to 20 weeks as I can so the baby will be all nice and big. We actually get a 4-D at the hospital. If I wasn't getting one of those from the hospital I wouldn't be getting one. My reasoning for this is I want to find out the sex and I want to be surprised about something...about looks. My other reason is from what I've seen of the 4D the pictures come out to reveal some kind of stay puff marshmallow baby. The features appear very distorted. I'm thinking seeing a distorted pic of my baby will freak me out even more then I am already freaked out now. I guess we will see. I was very surprised that a 4d is given through the hospital in the first place b/c I've heard that most people go to off site centers for that. I am looking forward to seeing the baby again though. Plus they are going to be doing a scan of the heart,and brain along with the anatomy. The Dr. said 4D is the best for that.

Another thing that has me going is childcare. Wowwww! As my friend so eloquently said it is the equivilant to rent, plus you have to supply your own food and diapers. Yikes! Our baby is gonna be out of diapers by the age of 1!!! Maybe even sooner (this is according to its father) :). I'm already having attatchment issues I'm not even sure if I want to leave my baby with someone, at some school, or a home.....or anywhere. I've been reading that the first 3years are crucial for development and my baby will be somewhere-- all day-- without me. I want to be there when they say their first word, crawl, take their first step. I'm really not sure what I'm going to do at this point. I'm already having seperation anxiety. Crazy huh? I wonder if other mothers go through this?